One Day At A Time...

I take it, one day at a time...one step in front of the other...and lately it seems as if I'm running into the arms of happiness.  It's a little scary but it's fun! 

I get a little down and I start thinking about all the many blessings in my life...my family, my friends, my kiddos aka critters of the 4 legged kind, my job(s), my house, all of my stuuuuffff!!!  And it all makes me happy and I feel a great sense of accomplishment and that makes me the happiest of all. 

I've worked my entire life towards a goal...a goal that I didn't really know existed.  Maybe I knew it existed but I didn't really know what it was specifically that I was searching for.  But doing it all on my own seems to be the thing that I've been trying to prove to myself all along!  And it makes me feel sooooo good on the surface and down deep!

Maybe it's time to start painting again...because I don't just see darkness anymore.  I don't just see the negativity in everything.  There is actual positiveness in EVERYTHING!!!  Imagine that!  Who knew?

I may not have made the best choices in my life for the past 34 years, but I learned from them all.  And if I hadn't made those choices, I would be who I am today...so for that I am thankful.  I'm proud of who I am today.  And if you don't like it, then stick it up your ass and move on about your business.  I don't need ya and don't want you to be a part of my life! 

Bitch On!!

Laughter Really Is The Best Medicine!

Research shows that laughter improves stress, pain, conflict, boosts your immune system and is the most infectious disease out there. 

I have never laughed so much as I have over the last couple of weeks or so!  Thanks to all of you that have contributed to putting that smile on my face!

Laughing until my head hurts, my tummy hurts, my cheek bones hurt and at times, laughing until I cry...but it is sooooo refreshing and so healing!  I forget about all my troubles when I'm laughing...when I'm smiling.  It pulls me out of my deepest, darkest runs of depression. 

I've tried so many things to make myself happy, but the thing that seems to work the best is laughing.  Laughing at the dog that talks back to her owner...laughing at bloopers...laughing over bad experiences...laughing at mistakes made...laughing at silly photos...laughing when you make up your own words and then try to figure out what they mean...laughing with friends (old and new)...laughing at memories.  Making new memories with all the laughter.

So, if you're feeling a little blue...I would suggest that you find something that makes you laugh!  It really will help you feel soooo much better! 

My proof is in the krakow!  ;)

Loneliness Isn't A Bad Thing

For the first time in several weeks, I feel free!  Free to express myself, free to say what I want, do what I want...it's so refreshing!  Even though I've had this freedom for a few months now, it just now seems real! 

I feel a great sense of accomplishment and I feel as if I have taken control of my life again!  A good friend recently told me to not look at loneliness as a bad thing...and over the last few months I have been doing just that! 

I'm slowly figuring out that loneliness is not a bad thing.  I make small trips alone to show myself that it's ok to be alone!  One of my biggest fears is spending my life alone.  Eating at a sit-down restaurant alone is terrifying to me!  But, twice now, I've gone specifically to a sit-down joint, just to sit and eat alone...to show myself that it's ok.  And ya know what?  It wasn't so bad...of course, it's not something that I want to do on a daily basis...if you know me, you know that I'm a social butterfly and prefer being around people. 

So, Sunday, I chose to take a stroll around the square...ALONE!!!  And I realized that I thoroughly enjoyed walking in and out of the stores that I wanted to go in and spent as much time or as little time in each store as I wanted!  And it was a blessing to be able to spend this time with myself.  I actually felt a slight bit of relief from the stress that had taken it's toll on me last week! 

What's the next thing to do ALONE?  I'm not sure, but stay tuned!!  I'm thinking a road trip of some sort would be fun!  But I'm kinda scared of that too!  But the best way to face your fears is to challenge it and face it head on!

Life As I Knew It...

So, life as I knew it changed drastically around the 4th of July...I took back my independance and asked for a divorce after 10.5 years of marriage.  As of September 10th, my divorce became final.  It wasn't the easiest decision I ever made but I feel that it was the best decision for both parties! 

So, now the beginning of the next chapter of my life begins.  Someone told me once that journaling would help you get through some of the tough times...so why not share that journaling with you guys?  I have nothing to hide and nothing to be ashamed of.  And as many of you know, I have no secrets.

I am currenlty working two jobs to maintain the household that I have worked so hard to build.  The second job keeps me from thinking about the lonliness when I'm forced to be alone.  I have a great support group of friends and family that have stood by me and supported me the entire step of the way and I don't know what I'd do without them!  Thanks to all of you! 

So what's next?  I don't know...I do know there are a few events coming up that I'm looking forward to!  Friday, September 24th to celebrate "D" Day!  October 14th-16th for Mudstock!!  October 29th-31st for the Annual Halloween Bash!!!  November 13th for the Fall Festival with GREAT friends!!  That's about as far out as I can go right now! 

I hope to get some hunting in this year...although the dynamics are different so I'm not sure how all of that will work out but I'm going to remain positive about it!  :)

I've met some amazing new people over the last few months and I look forward to new friendships and new adventures with all of them! 

So change isn't always a bad thing!  I welcome it and embrace with every fiber of my being and here's to the future and the opportunities that it has to offer! 

BITCH ON!